15 Comments
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Marco Guske's avatar

Always a pleasure and with much wonder. Leaves me struggling with safety conceptually and my needs in my late years. Thanx Kate, looking forward to more in time

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Kate Speer's avatar

I’m beyond grateful for your kindness. 💜

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Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

Safety is truly everything--we forget just how true this is. It's so deserving of soul discussion, and what an apt segment in the "healing lab." I thank you! <3

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Kate Speer's avatar

Yes! Feel this in my bones, and also, holy wow I wish I'd encountered an environment that helped me focus on this sooner... 💜 💜

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Laura (Parker) Weaver's avatar

I think that the universe sends your words at the right time... I am feeling the anxiety well up my chest and throat into my face, I can't shake it. A parent emailed me to complain his son is missing a basketball game to be at Theatre rehearsals, I feel like I am the theatre teacher from high school musical, and I DETEST strongly worded emails that I have to write.

Finding safety, that settles my heart and mind and my body is so vital... because this only one aspect of the world causing chaos in my body; the news, parenting, teaching, womaning, etc... Ironically I cut the underwire out of my bras this week !!!

Safety for me is in the right music and sometimes a dark corner, sitting against a wall... usually the X&Y by Coldplay, anything by the Oh Hellos, or Gregory Alan Isakov.... or sitting in my yard with the wind and the sun... or dork dancing in the car to queer hits

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Kate Speer's avatar

OMG, hell yeah. RIP underwire!

And I'm so, so glad my words connect meet you where you're at. 💜💜 I do want you to know what a g-d gift it is to hear from you every week. Someday, and hopefully soon, we'll get coffee, and I can't wait to hug you.

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Laura (Parker) Weaver's avatar

I would love that more than you could know! This community and you recenter me weekly and make me a better human ( or a wonderful human, as I tell my students)!

I am definitely a better teacher for having read your stories and heard from your heart 💜

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Katalyn Kuivila's avatar

I'm so glad you're doing long form writing again here Kate. this all resonates so so much. I'm not sure I have much to say at the moment because I feel a bit overwhelmed by being so seen, but I always deeply appreciate your words and am so grateful to you for sharing them with us.

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Kate Speer's avatar

Ah! I missed longform, too! Thank you for weathering one of my quieter seasons; it's such an honor to be seen by you all in all of them. Big, big hugs 💜💜

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Rosemary's avatar

I watched a dear friend going through her personal he’ll go through the bra situation as well. It worked for her. Now she has rebounded to purchasing only undergarments that make her feel beautiful and are her personal secret gift to herself each day.

For me entering the dark months takes me back to my darkest days and so I am working to reframe the darkness with cozy comforts. If I gain I gain and I don’t care. Warm blankets, good books, delicious tea, cinnamon anything… (a sprinkle on my coffee grounds is magical!) I’m trying to look up instead of down, noticing beauty and remarking to myself how much better that is than looking downward. Breathing crisp air is my attempt to break the stifling stuffiness. Love to you Kate and happy cinnamon to all!

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Kate Speer's avatar

Ah, yes. Here for all the cozy! What a powerful reframe. I, too, find the darker months heavy. Here's to both of us getting fresh crisp air, and retiring to a cup with cinnamon sprinkles.

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Sarah Rudman's avatar

When I started psychodynamic therapy almost 10 years ago, one of the first things my therapist did was have me make a list of places that feel safe. To this day, I keep that laminated list in my car so that I can go back to those places whenever I need. Also, I feel the bra thing SO HARD!! I have a collection and need to throw out the ones that feel terrible. Also, the grocery shopping, I go when it first opens so I understand the lure and safety of going when it’s less busy. You won’t catch me there on a busy weekend afternoon.

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Kate Speer's avatar

OK, the lamination is GENIUS. Be right back as I Google how to laminate. J/K, Amy just read this note as I'm typing it and told me she has one... BINGO!

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heydave56's avatar

Good stuff, this all works for me!

Well, not the bra part, but your mileage may vary...

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Kate Speer's avatar

Thanks, Dave! Glad you're here.

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