20. The Call That Split the Afternoon

Sunlight. Panic. Her voice on the line.

It was a Saturday afternoon when I got the call.

The sun was streaming into my little apartment as I sat cradling my empty coffee mug. I had been marveling at the light beams and daydreaming about taking a short walk around the neighborhood. Taking a walk outside was a daydream, of course. At that point, I only left the house for work or squash. Existing in daylight was still too terrifying of an experience to brave alone. My apartment was the only place I dared to be.  The outside was not safe and I honestly didn’t think it would ever be.

The piercing ring of the unknown number broke the peaceful moment clean in two and “New Hampshire Hospital” flashed across my smartphone screen. New Hampshire Hospital. NEW HAMPSHIRE HOSPITAL. Why the hell were they calling me? Fear shuttered through my body and it finally clicked — New Hampshire Hospital housed the locked inpatient unit that doctors threatened to send me to if I didn’t take my meds and adhere to the nurses’ orders. The threat of bei…