16. The Hallway Rehearsals

In the mirror, on note cards, with my parents — preparing to walk into a world I wasn’t sure would want me.

The darkness of my depressive state lingered, but I refused to let it swallow me whole. Determined to erase the heartbroken expressions on my parents' faces, I built out a calendar countdown for my upcoming job interview and committed myself to preparing. The interview was two weeks away and as each day passed, I grew increasingly focused and increasingly nervous. 

This was my first professional interview. The only ones I had ever done before were in restaurants, so to prepare I devoured everything I could find on the internet about what an academic interview would entail. Similar to how I had learned to stand, communicate and move by watching movie characters, I applied the same framework to job interview YouTube videos. After watching hours of footage, compiling a master list of questions on note cards, and reading the latest “How to make a good impression at an interview” on Forbes.com, I began a personal case study – myself in a job interview. 

I had a lot to learn before the interv…