News I don't want to share

On acknowledging limitations and trying to make peace with them

Hello Beautiful Human,

I don’t want to be showing up here today with this news. But I must. It seems I have bit off more than I can chew with FEARS Camp. It has been a longtime dream of mine to share FEARS Camp with you and I tried my darndest to do everything in my power to make it happen. I actually even did everything my neurodiverse brain hates; I mapped out the entire course of the Camp, organized the many sessions, and prepped the entirety of the project before beginning. I legitimately sliced and diced and meal-prepped the shit out of it so I wouldn’t find myself here, proverbially choking. 

But even with all that prep — even with a lot of the work done and the certainty of structure and its inherent safety — my body still pulses with violent dysregulation and has done so since I kicked it off two weeks ago. The few emails I got from licensed clinicians about how harmful such a project would be didn't help either, but no matter the reason, my PTSD has kicked into overdrive and my…