Sighing is actually not rude

It is life sustaining and can also help you emotionally self-regulate

“So, what’s this new project about?”

an acquaintance asked.

“You finally find a way to get better?”

Her question hit me like a sucker punch in the chest. But instead of addressing the bite in her words — the ableism — the shaming that was so ripe within her tone — I took a deep breath. And then, I took another one.

The pause undoubtedly caught her by surprise. Reactivity has been my go-to for decades. It is a response as predictable as the sun rising. But this time, the sun rose without me. I stayed calm.

After allowing another moment or two to pass — moments where I carved out a refuge of safety within myself — a cozy cocoon of blankets and comforters and fireside snuggles with my two girls within my own beating chest — I responded with a gentle tone and easy laugh.

“Oh heavens no. I’m a mess for life and this is definitely not an ‘answers’ project. It’s more of an adventure project — an exploration into all the different ways humans move through the world in hard times.”

She puzzled over m…