Sighing is actually not rude
It is life sustaining and can also help you emotionally self-regulate
“So, what’s this new project about?”
an acquaintance asked.
“You finally find a way to get better?”
Her question hit me like a sucker punch in the chest. But instead of addressing the bite in her words — the ableism — the shaming that was so ripe within her tone — I took a deep breath. And then, I took another one.
The pause undoubtedly caught her by surprise. Reactivity has been my go-to for decades. It is a response as predictable as the sun rising. But this time, the sun rose without me. I stayed calm.
After allowing another moment or two to pass — moments where I carved out a refuge of safety within myself — a cozy cocoon of blankets and comforters and fireside snuggles with my two girls within my own beating chest — I responded with a gentle tone and easy laugh.
“Oh heavens no. I’m a mess for life and this is definitely not an ‘answers’ project. It’s more of an adventure project — an exploration into all the different ways humans move through the world in hard times.”
She puzzled over my answer — but seemed even more confused over everything I was standing there in front of her — everything she’d never seen me be.
“Oh,” she surmised, now quiet and timid like I had been in college as I weathered hallucinations, and she antagonized me for it.
I smiled. Not a bone of bitterness in my body.
“Yeah — and we’d love to have you.”
Those words somehow scared her more than all the others. Or maybe it was that I said those words from a completely present and regulated state.
Either way, we parted, and as I climbed into my truck in the rising sun, I realized that maybe this project was actually an ‘answers’ project after all — a project where the answers aren’t learned on a page but instead where they are learned in my very bones, body, and breath.
Hello Beautiful Human,
Welcome to another week at The Healing Lab. This week we continue our adventure into the power of breath and nervous system regulation. More specifically, this week, we are exploring the power of the sigh.
This week’s experiment – the physiological sigh.
Though I often think of a sigh as the noise my husband makes in frustration (and a great reason to go back outside with the dogs), a sigh is actually a life-sustaining reflex that preserves lung function and our ability to stay alive. On a daily basis, the average human sighs once every five minutes and about 288 times a day.
While a sigh is a natural reflex that preserves the efficacy of the alveoli, the half-billion, delicate tiny sacs in the lungs where oxygen enters the bloodstream, and carbon dioxide leaves it, we can also sigh on a voluntary basis. When we do so (other than to signal to loved ones that we are stressed out), we activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest+digest). As we discussed last week, this decreases our heart rate, slows our breathing rate, and can be a deeply soothing experience in times of anxiety or stress.
This week, our experiment is to practice the physiological sigh – a double inhale through the nose followed by a long, slow, extended exhale through the mouth. A physiological sigh occurs reflexively in our body after surviving a period of stress or experiencing increased carbon dioxide levels. Nevertheless, we can also voluntarily engage in a physiological sigh to relax ourselves, and after this wild week in the world, this practice feels like the right next step, at least for me.
Before sharing this in visual, written, and video form, I want to share a few fun facts about the physiological sigh with you and remind you that The Healing Lab is all about honoring you. So, if you try this and discomfort continues to arise in your body and mind, and that discomfort grows into distress, please wash the experiment down the proverbial sink. Really. Choose YOU. Remember, choosing yourself is the greatest act of healing any of us can ever do.
Fun facts about the physiological sigh:
Studies have shown that engaging in as few as 1-3 physiological sighs can empower an individual to stay or return to a calmer, more regulated state. (source)
A recent clinical trial shows that if one practices cyclical physiological sighs – i.e., if one engages in continuous physiological sighs for five minutes, the practice can reduce an individual’s overall stress and enhance their overall mood. (source)
How to practice the physiological sigh
Find a comfortable position.
Double Inhale through your nose (without exhaling in between).
The first inhale fully expands the lungs, and the second, smaller inhale helps inflate the tiny alveoli (air sacs) in the lungs that may have collapsed, thereby maximizing oxygen intake.
Slowly exhale out of your mouth.
The long, slow exhale helps offload excess carbon dioxide (CO₂) from the bloodstream, which lowers physiological stress and activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” state)
Repeat for five minutes.
Featuring special guests: Waffle + Tugboat (and her scrunchie)
This week’s writing prompt
After experimenting with the physiological sigh, reflect on your experience/s with it in writing. How did your body feel both before and after the physiological sigh? Did it help you connect with your body, or did it remove you from certain parts of it? Explore your physical experiences as well as your thought processes throughout the exercise. As you reflect upon your experience, did the activity bring up past instances where you sighed reflexively? Share those as well if you feel moved to.
Science, Stories + Source Material
The Sigh from the Physiological Perspective by L.J. Severs et al.
Respiratory Variability, Sighing, Anxiety, and Breathing Symptoms in Musicians by E. Vlemincx et al.
UCLA and Stanford Researchers Pinpoint Origin of Sighing Reflex in the Brain by W.E. Ross et al.
That’s it from us in snowy Vermont this week! Now, it’s time to frolic with my two girls in all the freshies. Goodness knows they have been oh-so patient this week as I nerded out fiercely about respiration so I could write this for all of you.
I hope you can find joy and a moment of refuge (in the snow or otherwise) this weekend and a deep breath somewhere along the way too.
Kindly,
Kate
Thank you, as always, for being here with us.
If this edition of The Healing Lab served you in any way, please consider sharing the publication with a friend who might also appreciate it or commenting and liking this post. It (is silly, but it) helps more than you know.
With these last two posts, I think you’ve already written chapters one and two of your next book. And “The Healing Lab” is an awesome title. (Need an editor???!! :-) ). Seriously, this is so well written and the tone comes across as so warm and loving and the facts are so easily understood and absorbed. I’ve loved everything you’ve written, even the most painful pieces, but I truly believe “The Healing Lab” is destined for, and will appeal to a wide, wide audience who needs this information (like the women you open the post with, maybe?? ;-) ). I’m going to be aware of and practice sighing starting right now. Have a great weekend!!
Vocalizing a sigh can feel so healing